Why Rediscovering Hobbies After Loss is an Important Part of Healing from Grief

Losing your spouse changes everything. The life you once knew is suddenly taken from you. In the midst of grief even the things that once brought joy – your hobbies, creative outlets, and passions – can feel distant or unimportant.
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​When my husband, Brad, passed away, I found it difficult to reconnect with the hobbies and passions I once loved. I was exhausted, not eating well and barely sleeping. I simply did not have the mental or physical energy to engage in the things that once brought me joy.

However, over time, my strength began to return, and I started to wade back into things that brought me joy. This was a key part of healing from my grief, reminding me that grief and happiness can coexist.

​Why Hobbies Matter in the Healing Process
Grief is heavy. It can consume your thoughts, emotions, and even your energy for daily life. Finding moments of joy through hobbies doesn’t erase the pain, but it can help you process it.

Here’s why hobbies and passions are a crucial part of healing after loss:

• They offer a healthy emotional outlet. Grief needs a place to go. Creative hobbies like painting, writing, music, or crafting can help express emotions that feel too big for words. Physical activities like yoga, walking, or gardening can provide a release for the stress and tension grief brings.
• They remind you that joy and grief can coexist. Many widows struggle with guilt when they feel even a moment of happiness. But joy doesn’t mean you’re leaving your spouse behind - it means you’re allowing yourself to heal while still carrying their love with you.
• They help rebuild a sense of identity. After loss, it’s common to feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself. Engaging in hobbies, whether old or new, can help you reconnect with what makes you you outside of grief.
• They provide moments of peace. Even if just for a short while, focusing on a passion allows your mind to rest from the weight of loss. These small moments of relief add up and can make the grief journey feel more manageable.
• They create opportunities for connection. Whether through a book club, a painting class, or a hiking group, hobbies can help you connect with others who share your interests, reducing the loneliness that often comes with grief.
  
  

It’s Okay to Take Your Time
If the thought of returning to hobbies feels overwhelming, that’s completely normal. There’s no timeline for when you should feel ready. Healing isn’t about forcing yourself into activities before you’re prepared - it’s about allowing yourself the grace to move forward at your own pace.

Here are some signs you might be ready to ease back into hobbies:

• You feel a gentle pull toward an old passion or curiosity about trying something new.
• You have moments when you think, Maybe I’d like to try that again.
• The idea of engaging in a hobby brings more comfort than pain.
  
  

If none of these feel true for you yet, that’s okay too. You are not behind. Give yourself permission to take things at a pace that feels right for you.

How to Gently Reintroduce Hobbies into Your Life
If you feel ready but uncertain, here are a few ways to ease back into hobbies without pressure:

• Start small. Instead of diving in fully, take a tiny step - journal for five minutes, plant a flower, listen to a favorite song, or doodle on a notepad.
• Allow yourself to explore. If old hobbies feel too painful, consider trying something new. This can be a fresh start that isn’t tied to memories.
• Give yourself permission to enjoy it. If a moment of joy sneaks in, don’t push it away. Happiness is not betrayal—it’s healing.
• Find a supportive environment. If you’re feeling isolated, consider joining a group or class where you can share your hobby with others at your own comfort level.
  
  

Joy is Not Betrayal; It’s a Part of Healing
One of the hardest parts of grief is allowing yourself to experience happiness again. However, finding joy does not mean you’re forgetting your spouse. It means you’re continuing to live while carrying their love with you.

You deserve moments of joy, moments of peace, and moments that remind you of who you are beyond your grief.

Have you found a hobby that has helped you in your grief journey? I’d love to hear about it in the comments.