Why Isolating in Grief Feels Save but Hurts Healing

​When my husband died, I struggled to leave my house for months. My house felt safe in my new reality and staying home meant I didn’t have to face happy couples at restaurants or small talk with strangers at the grocery store. My world had shattered and picking up the pieces felt impossible. However, with time, I came to realize that isolating myself was only hindering my healing, not helping it.

When we lose our spouse or life partner, it can feel safe to retreat, to go quiet and to shut out the world. It’s a natural reaction to grief. When we’re grieving, our nervous system is overwhelmed. Everything hurts - physically, emotionally, mentally. The idea of trying to engage with people who might not understand, or who expect us to “just carry on,” can feel exhausting.

So, we protect ourselves the only way we know how: by withdrawing.

However, grief needs to be witnessed. It needs to be spoken, shared, and held in the presence of others who get it or who are at least willing to try.

Isolation might feel safe, but it can quickly lead to:

• Prolonged sadness and despair
• Increased anxiety or depression
• A sense of disconnection from purpose and self
• Delayed healing
  
  

You don’t need to be surrounded by people all the time, but you do need connection. It’s important to find the people in your life who will support you and not judge you. Text, call or invite them to a safe place (your house, their house, a favorite coffee spot or the park) and just connect. You don’t have to talk about your loss or your pain, if you don’t want to.

If connecting with friends or family does not feel right, seek professional support – a grief support group in your community or professional support, like a grief coach.

You deserve to be supported in your grief. It leads to healing and rebuilding your life.

If you're reading this and recognizing your own patterns of isolation: you're not doing anything wrong. You're simply trying to survive. And that’s okay.

But I invite you to take a small step towards connection. It may not be easy at first, but by taking small steps every day, you’ll begin to move forward and that will lead to healing.

At Awaken & Renew Grief Coaching, I work with widows who are ready to move out of survival mode and begin healing with intention and support. If you’re ready to stop carrying your grief alone, I’m here.
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Let’s walk this path together.