​When my husband suddenly died, without warning, I was immediately tossed into a whole new world with no experience and a lot of unknowns. The intense sadness and loneliness that engulfed me was nearly too much to take. All I wanted was to figure out how to get better and back to feeling like myself again, albeit without my husband. It has been nearly two years since my husband left this earth and I know many newly widowed women wonder how long the pain will last. I will say that the pain, for me, has never really gone away, but it has gotten more dull and less sharp. The first 30, 60, 90 days after my husband passed were the most overwhelming and disorienting. Here is what I experienced.

I was 34 years old when my dad was diagnosed with Stage Four Lung Cancer. I got the call from my mom on a Friday morning while I was at work. It was a call I had been waiting for after he had a biopsy five days earlier. I surely thought a man who never smoked a day in his life could not have lung cancer and, if he did, then it had to be in the early stages. After the call, I did what any good employee would do. I drove to my home 15 minutes away, cried for about an hour in disbelief with my husband, and went back to work. 

​Your spouse or life partner has passed. The worst moment of your life is unfolding around you. You clasp to anything to remember them and keep them close. So, when is the right time to take off your wedding ring? Or do you even have to take it off?

​Resilience is defined by the strength and speed of our response to adversity. It is not about avoiding challenges or difficult situations, but rather about facing them, learning from them, and continuing to move forward. It sure sounds good or like wishful thinking when you are in the depths of grief and mourning doesn’t it?