A few months after my husband died, I found myself in deep emotional turmoil and uncertain about how to move forward. I yearned to reclaim my life, to feel joy again, and to enjoy the things I loved before my husband’s death, but I had no idea how. Reflecting on that time, I now understand that my decision to actively pursue healing was crucial. It was a conscious choice to rebuild my life and find a new path forward without him. I sought out professional help and began the process to heal from my grief, one day at a time and one step at a time.

As a Certified Master Grief Coach, I am often asked, “so, what is a grief coach”? My answer is that a grief coach provides personalized, future-focused support to help individuals navigate their grief, set goals for healing, and rediscover purpose after their loss. A grief coach empowers those that are grieving to take actionable steps toward healing and growth. Here are seven tangible ways I can support you as a Grief Coach

​When you’ve lost the love of your life, your person, the world seems to stand still or at least move in slow motion. Unfortunately, the world does not stop for your grief and at some point, returning to work is inevitable. Balancing the demands of your job with the emotional turmoil of grief requires patience, understanding, and a strategic approach. Here are some practical tips to help you manage your grief in the workplace while maintaining your professional responsibilities.

​When my husband died, I thought I’d never love again and surely would never find someone as perfect as my late husband. However, as a young widow at 45 years old, I recognized that I most likely had a lot of life left to live and was overwhelmed by the prospect of living the rest of my life alone. In fact, widows who have had happy and successful relationships are more likely to want that again and to find that again. So, I kept myself open to the idea of finding someone else to love and enjoy life with.

​If you’re like me, you want to know what you need to do to heal and move forward in your grief. I wanted to know what the recipe or steps were that I needed to follow to feel better. Unfortunately, it does not exist, as everyone’s grief is unique and follows a different path. The ugly truth about grieving is no one is coming to rescue you, to take away your pain or to help you live the life you want after your loss. It’s up to you to take those steps to move forward. It can feel overwhelming, so here are ten proactive strategies you can apply to your grief to go from surviving to thriving.

​Death of a loved one, especially a spouse or life partner, can be accompanied by so many questions. Why did they have to die? Why did this happen to us? Could I have prevented this? Did I see warning signs? Unfortunately, death and subsequent grief are full of questions that cannot be answered. Learning to live and move forward without those answers can be difficult and it is important to the healing process.

​The Good and Not So Good Advice After Loss
You’ve lost your life partner. Your world is shattered, and you are trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces and how to overcome the pain and sadness. During this time, you’re likely to receive advice from well meaning people on how to resume living and eliminate the pain and suffering. Friends, family and complete strangers are compelled to try to help you feel better. Most are well-meaning, many have experienced their own loss and some just think they need to help, even if they don’t know how. So, what are some of the good pieces of advice I received after my husband died and what was not helpful? Below is my list.

​If you have lost your spouse or life partner, you have probably experienced or are currently experiencing acute grief. Acute grief is defined as the immediate and intense reaction following the loss of a loved one. It is characterized by a range of emotional, cognitive, physical and behavioral responses that can be overwhelming and all-consuming. Acute grief typically lasts for the first few weeks to months after your loss and timelines can vary for everyone. Here is my experience with Acute Grief.

​In my grief coaching I focus on helping widowed women and men move forward from their grief to find joy and meaning in life. I’ve been in the depths of despair after my husband died. Yet, I clawed my way out to find happiness again and built a life without my late husband while still honoring him. I believe everyone has the right to be happy and I am passionate about supporting widows in determining what “moving forward” means to them and helping them design a life of happiness despite their loss. Here is what I’ve learned about acceptance and what moving forward after loss means to me.

​When my husband suddenly died, without warning, I was immediately tossed into a whole new world with no experience and a lot of unknowns. The intense sadness and loneliness that engulfed me was nearly too much to take. All I wanted was to figure out how to get better and back to feeling like myself again, albeit without my husband. It has been nearly two years since my husband left this earth and I know many newly widowed women wonder how long the pain will last. I will say that the pain, for me, has never really gone away, but it has gotten more dull and less sharp. The first 30, 60, 90 days after my husband passed were the most overwhelming and disorienting. Here is what I experienced.

​Grief is hard, emotional, confusing, and overwhelming. I’ve also learned it is uniquely personal. It is not a one size fits all and there is no right or wrong way to do it. What some find helpful or comforting during their grief may not help another and vice versa. The advice I’d give to my former self, in those first few weeks and months after my husband died, is to just do me. 

​Fatigue is an inevitable by-product of grief. Loss of appetite and lack of sleep can be contributors. But the sheer physical and emotional pain of grief is also exhausting. To successfully grieve, self-care and energy management are important. But how? Here are some tips:

​If you have not experienced a significant loss in your life, it may be hard to understand how best to support someone who lost their spouse. There are many ways to offer compassion and support – the biggest and best advice is to simply “show up”. Lean in, be present, and acknowledge and support their grief. Here are some other tips that I found comforting and supportive after my husband passed away.

I was 34 years old when my dad was diagnosed with Stage Four Lung Cancer. I got the call from my mom on a Friday morning while I was at work. It was a call I had been waiting for after he had a biopsy five days earlier. I surely thought a man who never smoked a day in his life could not have lung cancer and, if he did, then it had to be in the early stages. After the call, I did what any good employee would do. I drove to my home 15 minutes away, cried for about an hour in disbelief with my husband, and went back to work. 

​Your spouse or life partner has passed. The worst moment of your life is unfolding around you. You clasp to anything to remember them and keep them close. So, when is the right time to take off your wedding ring? Or do you even have to take it off?

​Resilience is defined by the strength and speed of our response to adversity. It is not about avoiding challenges or difficult situations, but rather about facing them, learning from them, and continuing to move forward. It sure sounds good or like wishful thinking when you are in the depths of grief and mourning doesn’t it?