MY STORY
Over the last twelve years I have experienced the loss of two of the most important men in my life. My father passed way in 2012 from cancer and my husband passed suddenly in 2022 from a massive heart attack.
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My husband was a strong minded and bodied man. At 50 years old he was an active hiker, mountain biker and snowboarder with a healthy diet. So, nothing could prepare me for June 27, 2022, when I found him face down in our front yard while doing yard work. Despite my best efforts and the efforts of paramedics, he did not survive a massive heart attack. We had just moved into a new home, in a new town only six weeks prior. I spent the first month in shock and denial. This quickly manifested into anger and rage. I found myself ill equipped to navigate life while grieving and mourning. So, I sought the help of a grief professional, attended bereavement groups, listened to podcasts and read books. I was committed to healing from my grief and finding joy again. I learned how to move forward with my grief, without forgetting my husband and living a life with meaning that is in honor of him. I am now passionate about sharing what I learned with others.
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My father was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer in June 2011, despite never smoking a day in his life. I experienced the roller coaster of emotions during the various cancer treatments: the hope for remission as well as the realities on the limitations of modern medicine. I quickly found myself with anticipatory grief, anticipating that he would not survive and preparing myself for the loss. When time and treatment ran out, my family and I sat vigil next to his bed for 3 days until he took his last breath, only 8 months after his diagnosis. After he passed, my anticipatory grief manifested into shock, denial and ultimately acceptance. Support from a grief professional helped me accept the loss and learn to celebrate the memories. Watching someone we love suffer and deteriorate in front of our eyes comes with intense emotions and a prolonged period of grieving. I use this experience in my coaching as others navigate this type of loss.
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